Posted by on Sep 11, 2014 in My Blog, My Breast Cancer Journey | 2 comments

Those who know me well, have heard me say many times that, for me, my breast cancer journey was more of a spiritual journey than an illness. As I reflect on that now, I find myself being so very thankful…feeling so blessed along those paths.

Did I WANT cancer?  Absolutely NOT!!!  Was it horrifically challenging along the way?  Oh, yes, indeed!  Did I learn a lot from the experience and grow as I trod those paths?  Without a doubt, immensely.

Some say, cancer is a great teacher.  I know who the teacher is…it is God, the Creator of the Universe, the Giver of Life, the Lover of our Souls.  

Now, I was one of those patients whose chemotherapy made me very sick and I had extreme fatigue.  I lived alone and my two grown daughters lived out-of-state.  Divorced after 26 years of marriage.  Yes, I lived alone.  Some were concerned about that, but I felt confident that God could handle this and I would trust in Him.  God’s Holy Spirit was my CONSTANT companion.  I was NEVER alone.

I found my own lump as I folded my arm up across my chest settling into bed after putting my little granddaughters to bed.  God led me to it.  You might be laughing, “right, Pat.”  But, He did and that’s all there is to it.  My fingertips barely touched my gown and “BINGO!  What the heck is THAT?”  Out of the bed I jumped, felt it and knew without a doubt that this was “different.”  Went back to bed and said nothing about the discovery  to my daughter and wee ones as I left the next day on my 7 hour drive back home from Nashville to Statesville, NC.    The following day I began all the doctor visits, all confirming, “yes, this is different.”

So, the sickness and the extreme fatigue…I was so sick, that it seemed I could not lie deeply enough into my mattress…but that was part of the deal.  I could not do ANYTHING except lie there, be sick, take my meds guided by a chart by my bed and sometimes, just sometimes, think.  That’s where God really had my back.  Even in the absolute weakest times, when I could not utter a word of prayer, the blessing in that is that God’s Holy Spirit intercedes and prays for us.  Romans 8:26 “Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.”   What a comfort that was and still is today.

Sometimes I would just lie there and think of favorite scriptures and one that is so powerful is Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God.”  Such a gift; such a promise…forever!!Be Still and Know

If we know and trust THAT, what else is there?

The song attached here is “Be Still and Know” by the Fray.  I enjoy it so very much and thought on this day, with everything going on in our world, I would share it for a purposeful refocusing…

“Be still and know that I am God.”

 

 

2 Comments

  1. 10-6-2014

    I just found your website and began reading your “blog”. It is so beautifully written, so filled with inspiration, so heartfelt and honest! Thank you for sharing so much of yourself. I look forward to learning more about you and how you live “with a hopeful heart”. May G-D continue to bless you, Pat!
    Always,
    Shelley

    • 10-6-2014

      Thank you, Shelley. I’m glad that you visited the site and hope you will come back often. I DO believe we are kindred spirits!!!

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