Posts Tagged "unforgiveness"

Forgiveness Is A Choice

Posted by Pat Stewart on Dec 3, 2011 in My Blog, Think About This | 3 comments

Relationships are essentially teams.  Teams are made of two or more people who form bonds of trust and consider one another’s interests, needs and faults…and still, they choose to be a team.  As we say in Facebook language, they are “in a relationship.”  Now, in Facebook-ese, that means a romantic relationship.  I am referring to relationships formed by family members, friends, co-workers, club members, etc.  Inevitably, we humans are going to make mistakes, revealing the flaws in our character.   Many times, I believe, we make mistakes without even realizing it.  These mistakes can be very hurtful to those on the receiving end of our actions or words. But, whether these offenses are intentional or not, true teams…true strong relationships manage to smooth things over through apologizing and, if unintentional, explaining that there was no intent on our part to injur.   That just gets us half way to enjoying our relationship again.  It’s like we have two pieces of bread and a knife and look into the cabinet and find there’s no peanut butter there.  An important part of the sandwich is missing.  That’s what it’s like when someone can’t forgive their teammate who offended them.   Forgiveness is a choice.  In reality, we make this choice to forgive because we know that forgiving is a step toward healing ourselves from that wound. Choosing to forgive is something we actually do for ourselves.  In Mark 11:25 we hear “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. “  As Christians, there is an expectation that we will forgive.  Sometimes, it is very difficult.  Many people find themselves in a hurtful situation and CHOOSE to remain bitter, to allow the hurt to morph into resentment and carry that with them into their future.  I’m always amazed when I hear someone say something like “Yes, she has a son but they have no relationship at all.  He’s not a part of her life.”  Her son?  Really?  Choosing NOT to forgive just keeps us in the hurtful struggle.  “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. – Unknown“   Healthcare personnel and scientists have studied the effects of forgiveness, or the lack of, on human beings.  Carrying grudges and remaining bitter emotionally and physically damages a person’s well-being.  And what does it do for the people who live/work with them?  It’s like second-hand smoke.  The smokers are affecting the people with whom they live. On a lighter note, another quote about forgiveness that speaks loudly to me is this one from Oscar Wilde: “Always forgive your enemies…nothing annoys them so...